(CAR HORN) VOICEOVER (VO): The nation's favorite celebrities...

It's not worth a tenner.

VO: ..paired up with an expert... You're learning.

VO: ..and a classic car.

This is very exciting, isn't it?

It is.

VO: Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.

Got a nice ring to it.

VO: The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

Come on.

VO: But it's no easy ride.

RICHARD: Brake.

DOMINIC: I can't!

VO: Who will find a hidden gem?

I hope I don't live to regret this.

VO: Take the biggest risk?

We've definitely got a problem.

VO: Will anybody follow expert advice?

You'd never catch me buying anything like that.

VO: There will be worthy winners... (THEY CHEER) VO: ..and valiant losers.

You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

VO: Put your pedal to the metal.

VO: This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah.

VO: Today, we're going to be meandering through Northamptonshire.

This county is the historic home of Britain's shoemaking industry.

So let's meet the pair buckled into this 1967 Daimler 420 Sovereign.

Cor, I wouldn't mind coming here for a weekend or something.

BOBBY FRICTION: This is where all the money is stored, right?

SIMA KOTECHA: Totally.

BOBBY: I'm just going to pull into my house quickly and get some... Yeah... VO: At the wheel is DJ Bobby Friction, and co-piloting, Sima Kotecha.

SIMA: I'm so happy to be on this trip with you.

I have had a manic few days at work.

BOBBY: I've got to say, the car is a blessing.

It's very beautiful.

It's very British.

I'm just warning you, I've never been in an antiques shop.

VO: British journalist Sima Kotecha is more at home in a newsroom, or even on the battlefield, having reported from Afghanistan, while Bobby Friction is a DJ, television presenter and radio presenter from London.

He made a name for himself by championing new Asian music and Desi beats to British mainstream audiences.

BOBBY: When I've come home after doing my radio show... SIMA: Yeah.

..all I've heard is bhangra, Bollywood, hip-hop, I actually need Newsnight to calm down.

Because I'm a fan of yours as well.

BOBBY: Oh, thank you very much.

SIMA: Are we going to be doing some bhangra beats a bit later on?

(BHANGRA STRINGS) VO: Well, why wait?

Ha-ha!

On this fine summer morning, these two begin their trip in Northampton, ending up at an auction in Penkridge, Staffordshire.

Sima and Bobby will each have £400 to spend on antiques, but they won't be alone.

Our very own Maharani princess Roo Irvine will be on hand to help, and so will our honorary Maharajan uncle, or should that be auntie, Philip Serrell.

PHIL: So, Bobby and Sima, what do you reckon?

Ooh, I'm excited.

I want Bobby.

Really?

Why?

Well, he represents my youth.

He's into the British Asian music scene, and that was a big part of my life.

What about you?

PHIL: I'd really like to work with Sima.

She has to think on her feet doing what she does, interviewing political people, war zones, all that sort of stuff.

VO: All that battle experience, eh?

Does Sima have Bobby in her sights?

BOBBY: So I know you want to beat me...

I am competitive.

Look, you're a journalist, you're a serious journalist.

I'm not going to be serious now because I want to have a laugh.

It's just like getting the story.

SIMA: Absolutely.

BOBBY: I think I might be the silent stalking horse.

VO: Do you mean dark horse, Bobby?

Ha!

So I think we might go with the flamboyant, impulsive purchases over here and the well thought-out antiques over there.

PHIL: Yeah, well, it'll be interesting, won't it?

It will.

Let the battle begin... Two bright people, eh?

PHIL: Go on, off you go.

ROO: Oh... (LAUGHS) ROO: We can do this.

VO: Well, that's the teams decided then - Roo with Bobby and Phil with Sima.

Our first forage will be here, in Vintique, in the village of Weedon Bec.

It's just off the famous Roman road known as Watling Street.

Will our celebs carpe diem in taberna?

That's your actual Latin for "seize the day at the shop".

SIMA: Right, let's do this.

Are you ready to cry?

Because there's going to be some serious crying from you.

No, no, no...

I might cry a bit, but there's going to be someone left literally crying, screaming... SIMA: Whatevs!

VO: Time to meet the experts.

SIMA: Phil!

Hello!

PHIL: Hi, how are you?

SIMA: How are you doing?

Lovely to see you.

Looking forward to working with you.

You're the expert.

You're gonna have to guide me through all of this... PHIL: What did you just call me?

SIMA: An expert!

(SCOFFS) I don't know about that.

ROO: Hello...!

(GIGGLES) BOBBY: Roo!

How are you doing?

What is going on?

You look amazing!

ROO: We're kind of matching... BOBBY: Yeah!

Kind of going for the understated black, but then we're blinging it up.

BOBBY: Yeah.

ROO: You look cool.

Well, thank you very much.

You look amazing as well.

You've got better hair than me.

How's that possible?

No, no, no, no.

Can I have your bangles at the end of all of this?

You know we'll be swapping accessories by the end of this.

Tell me, what's your favorite period in history?

I love World War II.

VO: Phil is getting to grips with Sima's tastes.

PHIL: Really?

Yeah, and I love a bit of bling, a bit of jewelry.

PHIL: So, we wanna...

If we can find a really blingy World War II medal, that ticks every box.

Well, that would be ideal, yeah.

PHIL: Let's go and have a look.

SIMA: Fantastic.

We want to buy with our hearts.

I want to see you fall in love with things and say, "Yes!"

"This reminds me of my mum or my past."

BOBBY: Psychedelia, music and the British Raj.

Oh, man, you've given me three challenges right there.

Let's get cracking, then.

Alright, let's go.

VO: As the name suggests, this place stocks a selection of vintage collectibles and antique items all under one roof.

It's run by manager Neil.

And Sima has gone straight to the cabinets.

So I can't help but be drawn to the bling here.

Some chunky rings - I love a bit of chunk.

Erm, so this one has caught my eye.

A heart.

There you go... Looks rather nice.

Cup of tea, Vicar?

I guess not.

I think I found the DJ booth.

BOBBY: Oh... ROO: Can I get a request?

BOBBY: Yeah.

No, definitely.

So this is totally my era.

This is, like, mid '80s.

Always had to, at the time at least, have two cassettes BOBBY: ..so you could...record.

ROO: Record.

Record!

Remember when we used to do that?

I love it.

So this represents who you are today.

Yeah.

Where it started and where you are now.

BOBBY: Yeah.

Never thought I'd see this in a place like this.

VO: The 1980s might seem like yesterday but a lot of memorabilia from that decade is becoming popular.

BOBBY: OK, I've had enough of thinking about my youth.

It's reminding me of how old I am now.

ROO: (LAUGHS) VO: And you're a spring chicken...

If we keep wandering this way... Oh, hang on... Ooh!

Hello, newsroom.

Forget about work.

VO: If it was a World War II telephone, it could have been your first scoop!

BOBBY: Roo?

ROO: Uh-huh.

BOBBY: So I was initially attracted by these colorful trinkets but then I noticed these forks.

Right.

And I'm assuming they're art deco.

Yes, they are.

And you know I love psychedelic stuff.

Art deco was basically the grandmother of the psychedelic art movement.

It was all reinvented in the '60s.

VO: Are you sure this is your first antiques shop, Bobby?

BOBBY: What I really like is they actually look like art deco buildings, like the Empire State Building.

ROO: Yes, you know your art deco, and the Chrysler Building as well.

BOBBY: There you go.

ROO: The art deco was the '20s to the '40s, the celebration after the war.

BOBBY: Yeah.

So when life started again and people were celebrating and drinking and living and loving.

1932, so that's slap bang in the middle of the art deco era.

Cutlery is one of those things that...it's ten a penny.

You really want it to be silver, you want it to be art deco or art nouveau.

VO: These tick both of those boxes.

Now, if we could just find the maker.

ROO: Can't see where they're made, actually.

It's not Birmingham or Sheffield.

I mean, it's £60 for all six.

BOBBY: Oh, for all six, that's good.

ROO: Not bad.

But they're unboxed.

So you really want them to be in their beautiful presentation box.

Let's hope the other team don't see this... Look, I don't want you to even mention the other team.

They don't exist.

I don't want to think about them.

They don't exist!

ROO: I know.

It's just us!

BOBBY: It's just us.

BOBBY: Come on, let's go!

ROO: Phil who?

(LAUGHS) VO: Talking of which... SIMA: What about those?

PHIL: Those... PHIL: Can I... SIMA: Yeah.

PHIL: Let's see if this is open.

VO: Ah...

They've clocked some cutlery, too.

Great minds and all that.

SIMA: Oh, can I grab them?

PHIL: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SIMA: Ooh, delicate... PHIL: See, there's an obvious thing about those.

The first thing that occurs to me - that one's a lot bigger.

SIMA: Yeah.

PHIL: And you're going to ask me why, aren't you?

VO: The smaller ones are for eating - the larger one is for serving.

PHIL: I love this column with this capital on the top.

And then you've got the hallmark there.

Now, I can tell you that that was assayed in Sheffield... ..in 1931.

But it doesn't say that, so how...?

But it does say that there.

SIMA: Does it?

PHIL: Yeah.

SIMA: Is that in code?

PHIL: Absolutely.

VO: These spoons were made not long before Bobby's art deco forks, but are much more traditionally styled.

It shows that not everything made in the 1920s and '30s can be attributed to the art deco craze.

PHIL: I just think they're nice.

I like those.

I don't like the price, but... SIMA: I'm a good haggler.

PHIL: Come on, then.

SIMA: See if we can get them...

Marvelous Marvin Hagler?

See, that's another dad joke... Marvin Hagler.

What?

Who's that?

Wasted.

I'm wasted here.

VO: He was an American boxer, Sima!

SIMA: What are those pots over there?

They all look the same shape.

But what do you actually put in them?

This looks like a pickled onion.

BOBBY: Let me smell... Yeah, pickled onions!

BOTH: (LAUGH) You know what I really like about this place?

It's just how antiquey it is.

The memorabilia is cool.

The old stuff's cool.

But this feels British, quintessentially British.

SIMA: It really gets you in the mood, doesn't it?

It really gets you into the mood to want to buy antiques.

Yeah, yeah... And I'm telling you, this color...really suits you.

Got to buy some of that blue.

Yeah, I might have to lose a bit of weight.

SIMA: (LAUGHS) VO: Ha-ha!

VO: Seems Bobby's smitten with the world of antiques now!

I didn't think I'd enjoy it this much... A - because if I'm in a shop, it's usually either buying books, vinyl, music... clothes and all that kind of stuff.

But what's been really nice... (LAUGHS) - a woolly mammoth - what's been really nice about this, apart from the woolly mammoths, it's just been almost dropping into another world, like immersing myself.

And then you've got Roo.

Roo, who's just like... a vision of a goddess, but also a vision of a goddess with this amazing, laser sharp, antique-heavy knowledge.

So, it's really enjoyable.

VO: What's Roo lasered in on next?

ROO: Bobby... BOBBY: Yeah?

..I spotted these on the way in, and I kind of dismissed them, but actually, I've been thinking about them.

OK. What are your thoughts?

Erm... Oh, wow.

OK, so they are ancient.

I mean, this is proper old stuff, right?

It's rusty... ROO: It is, yep.

It's a pair of cast iron wheels.

VO: Before rubber tires came along, iron wheels were used by some farm vehicles, and can still be seen on shepherd huts.

And this is Phil Serrell's bag.

I know we don't want to mention the opposition... Yeah.

..but he has single-handedly made this kind of stuff trendy.

Anything farming and agricultural and reclamation and salvage and rusty and old and heavy... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

..it's just become trendy because what Phil does, he turns everything into a coffee table.

It says here the pair is £145.

BOBBY: Wow.

ROO: The price would definitely have to drop down into the double figures.

BOBBY: I really, really am feeling sold on these, right?

There's something about going back to the soil and then even the ridiculous thing of them looking like turntables, all of it's come together in a mad mash-up of me thinking, "Let's go, let's, let's buy."

VO: You'll need to agree a price with Neil first.

ROO: We saw loads of cool things, didn't we?

BOBBY: Yes, yes.

VO: Ever the charmer, eh, Roo?

VO: First the wheels, which are ticketed at £145.

But they're not really that fashionable anymore... NEIL: No.

BOBBY: ..from what I've heard.

You couldn't wear them as earrings, could you, really?

Ooh, my ear... She could wear anything as earrings!

ROO: My ear lobes couldn't handle that.

BOBBY: I am thinking...nearer to £60?

(INHALES) My goodness.

That's a bit... Could we say 80?

75-ish...?

NEIL: You've got a deal.

VO: That was a "wheely" good price!

Now for the art deco cutlery priced at £60.

The sadly unboxed... NEIL: Mm.

ROO: So... BOBBY: Sadly.

Sadly unboxed.

So... Could we say 40?

Do you want to meet me near 30-ish...?

Let's split the difference and do 35.

Yeah...

I think, I think, I think they're sold!

VO: Dish out the dosh, then, Bobby.

So, after forking out for the cutlery - ha!

- and the wheels, the kitty has £290 left.

ROO: Come on, you.

NEIL: Thank you very much.

NEIL: Take care.

Bye bye.

ROO: Thank you so much.

Bye!

VO: Back inside... SIMA: Ooh, what have we got here?

Ooh... VO: ..this could be right up Sima's street.

SIMA: Wow.

Sergeant.

I spent some time in Afghanistan during the war.

I just became obsessed with the military.

I've done lots of journalism around military stuff.

I'm going to try this on... We've got army and RAF.

My dad was in the RAF for a bit.

PHIL: What are you doing?

SIMA: I love this.

I'll tell you what.

You look really good in that.

SIMA: Like it?

PHIL: I do.

It looks...

I really like this.

PHIL: The only thing is... you're a sergeant - I ain't got any stripes at all.

VO: You don't need them if you're a colonel, eh, Philip?

So, you must need something like that now and then on Newsnight?

SIMA: No, I do not!

PHIL: Really?

I don't think my editor would be too pleased if I wore this on set.

PHIL: (INHALES) So... SIMA: So, 46 quid.

PHIL: What else comes with it?

Army jacket, shirt and trousers.

So, the whole set.

What do you think...?

PHIL: If we could buy that and the spoons, we'd be kind of ahead of the game, wouldn't we?

Fantastic - music to my ears.

VO: Time to rendezvous at HQ.

PHIL: Hi, how are you?

NEIL: Hello, Phil, how are you?

PHIL: Yeah, we're really good.

NEIL: Good.

SIMA: Hello.

NEIL: Hello.

How are you?

I'm very well, how are you?

NEIL: I'm very well, thank you.

VO: Remember, they also fancied the silver spoons priced at £99.

SIMA: We've got a deal that we'd like to do with you.

SIMA: We will give you £60... NEIL: OK... Mm-hm?

Right.

SIMA: ..for these spoons... NEIL: Yep.

SIMA: ..and this... NEIL: (GASPS) SIMA: ..sergeant's uniform.

NEIL: (SIGHS) SIMA: £60.

What do you say?

NEIL: Could we say 65?

SIMA: (INHALES) PHIL: Er, we could say yes.

SIMA: Yes, go on, then.

NEIL: Go on, then.

20, 40... VO: Let's divide the spoils.

SIMA: ..60... VO: £25 for the uniform and 40 for the spoons... SIMA: Thank you so much.

NEIL: Thank you.

SIMA: No, thank you.

VO: ..making a total of 65 and leaving 335 in reserve.

As these two head off on their next mission, where have Bobby and Roo got to?

Is this your first classic car?

Erm, yeah, it is, actually.

You know how they always give them genders.

ROO: Yeah.

BOBBY: I think she's beautiful.

She's beautiful!

You want to give her a name?

Yeah, let's give her a name.

Erm... Esmeralda?

Oh, I like Esmeralda... Yeah, that's bonkers.

ROO: Has music always been in your blood?

I grew up listening to, on one side, ghazals and Bhangra and Bollywood... Yeah.

..but then on the other side, I was obsessing over, you know, '80s pop and Prince.

Prince was an entry point into... Yeah.

..the Beatles and Led Zeppelin and all of that stuff.

So when I joined Radio 1, I thought I'd be at the BBC for six months and then they'd find out about me and fire me.

VO: Nonsense!

You're a national treasure, Bobby.

Bobby and Roo are pushing on to their second shop in Northampton, where the medieval town center was destroyed by the great fire of Northampton in 1675.

Burning a hole in Bobby and Roo's pockets, £290... ..which they're hoping to spend here, at Click Antiques and Vintage.

This satanic vase...!

Hey, the glaze on that is stunning, though.

BOBBY: It looks pagan, it looks psychedelic.

ROO: Now, I want to have a look.

Tell me if there's any kind of markings on the base.

BOBBY: Erm, no, but I can see a crack, actually.

VO: This vase is in the style of Victorian majolica - tin-glazed pottery, often gaudy and always impressive.

ROO: It is a one-off thing.

I think it's beautiful.

£105... shall we give it a go?

Shall we find out with the best price is?

I feel like you and me have been haggling brilliantly.

Let's really haggle.

Satan goat's head vase - I love the name already.

VO: Diabolical!

Time to catch up with Sima and Phil, who are at Banbury Antiques Centre.

SIMA: Thank you.

I am finding a few golden nuggets, I must say.

VO: And this is a fine place for prospecting... ..with an array of antiques and collectibles from local dealers.

Sima, just have a look at this.

Do you know what...?

I love fairground signs.

That's so cool!

VO: Now, if only Roo was here.

What Phil does, he turns everything into a coffee table.

What we do with this is turn this into a coffee table.

Can you imagine that on your patio?

How much is it?

SIMA: 295.

PHIL: See, I think if you could get that just for a smidgen under 200 quid, that's the way to go.

SIMA: I think we're on a different wavelength here... PHIL: Don't you think that's cool?!

SIMA: Erm... Not really.

PHIL: Fun for all the family.

SIMA: No, no... PHIL: I think that's probably a no, then, isn't it?

It's a no... No!

VO: That would be a...no, then.

Let's hot-hoof it back to Northampton, where Bobby and Roo fancy an unusual goat vase... ..but have just spied something else.

So, these are probably old nautical telescopes.

BOBBY: Is your head OK?

ROO: (LAUGHS) I love astronomy.

It's like my hobby in my spare time.

ROO: Mm.

I'm so obsessed, my son's middle name is Galileo.

ROO: Really?

BOBBY: Named after Galileo... You are a... ..inventor of the telescope.

ROO: Well, that's the thing.

Your love is not necessarily for telescopes, but for astronomy.

You want to see the stars, not the ocean.

No, exactly.

But I mean, telescopes are really collectable, but you've got to find the good names, they've got to be in immaculate condition, or really good working order.

Otherwise they just become decorative pieces.

BOBBY: I think this time we can leave it, the nautical.

VO: It's probably best to play it safe.

ROO: Right, I've found something.

BOBBY: OK... ROO: I've found eight Cartier... BOBBY: Oh, wow.

..sterling silver salt and peppers.

People can have their own individual salt... ROO: ..salt and peppers.

BOBBY: Yeah, yeah.

And it says there "Cartier sterling."

So it's not British hallmarked, but it is sterling silver.

BOBBY: Wow.

VO: Sets are no great shakes...

But those made by French jeweler Cartier are the height of good taste.

ROO: Says here, I know it's quite rich, £290.

BOBBY: It's beautiful, it's cute.

It's designer.

ROO: Should we find out what the best price is?

Yeah.

And that's really haggle on this one.

ROO: Yeah.

Come on then, Bobs!

Let's see what we can do.

VO: Best pay a visit to manager Claire, then.

Remember, the unforgettable goat's head vase is also in the running, at £105.

CLAIRE: Hello.

ROO: Hi, Claire, how are you?

I'm fine.

How are you doing?

I'm good.

We found some interesting things, didn't we?

Well...

I know what you found there!

We quite like that.

Bit of Cartier bling.

Mm.

And we also spotted...

I'm calling it the Satanist vase, but it's the one with the...

I know exactly the one you mean.

BOBBY: Yeah, exactly.

It's going to be a bit of a gamble for us.

CLAIRE: Come on, give me your realistic best.

ROO: 70... BOBBY: 70.

Yeah.

We could take a punt at 70, I think.

I think we'll get away with that.

So we're good.

You're good... ROO: Are we taking it at 70?

CLAIRE: Yeah, brilliant.

ROO: Fabulous, done!

BOBBY: (GASPS) BOBBY: We've shaken hands, so... CLAIRE: Oh, the deal is done.

VO: So that's £70 for the vase.

But how cheeky will Bobby be with the Cartier cruets, ticketed at £290?

50.

Such a beautiful round number.

VO: Lordy!

I'm glad you did that face!

That saved me from doing that face!

ROO: (GROANS) CLAIRE: Er, no.

CLAIRE: It's around about the 150-ish.

BOBBY: OK... ROO: How about... ROO: ..130-ish...?

CLAIRE: Yeah.

Could have said 120 first.

No, I like her more.

Alright.

OK!

VO: Let's ring 'em up.

Two eye-catching items for £200, leaving £90 in the coffers.

ROO: You've been incredibly kind to us.

Thank you.

BOBBY: Thank you very much.

I think it's a pleasure to meet you.

VO: Back to Banbury now, where Sima and Phil still have £335 to spend.

I love these sorts of shops where you can come in and just try things that you wouldn't usually try.

It's pretty.

VO: Mm.

It's a bit old hat.

He-he!

Best move on.

SIMA: Phil, I'm really liking this.

I think that's really cool, actually.

That is very cool.

I think it would look fantastic on a big table, right in the middle.

And the thing is, it's kind of antique upcycling at its best, isn't it?

SIMA: Mm... PHIL: Do you like the fiddle?

SIMA: Well, I used to play the fiddle.

PHIL: Really?

SIMA: Yeah... PHIL: God, she's talented, isn't she?

You wouldn't think, would you?

But I didn't go very far.

I gave it up, unfortunately.

I'm feeling this lamp.

But I must say, I do prefer that one.

PHIL: That's almost a piece of sculpture, isn't it?

SIMA: Exactly.

Are we actually on the same page here?!

(SCOFFS) Well, you know, I'm down there with the kids.

Or is it up there with the kids...?

SIMA: It's down with the kids!

PHIL: ..with them somewhere.

SIMA: This one's 325.

PHIL: Yeah.

SIMA: But the smaller one... PHIL: ..is 195.

SIMA: ..is 195.

PHIL: I reckon that's a typo.

Yeah... (LAUGHS) Shall we give it a shot?

We'll tell him it's a typo.

SIMA: (LAUGHS) PHIL: What we've got to do is try and negotiate it for a price that these two are at... Let's go and see what we can see what we can see.

Onward and upward!

SIMA: Excellent.

VO: Let's get it to the tune of £100 and you could be in with a chance.

But Sima isn't done yet.

OK, I've seen something and I like it.

What?

What, what?

What, what, what?

VO: Would that entertain a child or just give it nightmares?

I feel as if it's, like, looking at us.

It looks...like an antique.

And I think it will appeal at the auction.

PHIL: More importantly, how much is it?

..everybody likes a rocking horse, don't they?

PHIL: Well, it's reduced to 48 quid, isn't it?

SIMA: Yeah!

PHIL: I mean, if you could get that for 20, 25 quid... ..that'd be brilliant.

No, I actually think that's a really good, fun thing.

Yeah?

And you know what?

I think that it would decorate, if you've got a child's playroom or something like that...

Absolutely!

PHIL: It would look really, really cool.

SIMA: I'm really surprised that we've come in here and found two things that we both like quite easily.

And I do like that.

And I definitely like the lamp.

VO: Time to pony up, then.

Here comes Peter.

SIMA: Hello.

PETER: How are we getting on?

SIMA: I think we're getting on very well.

VO: Remember, the horse is rocking at a price of £48 and the horn lamp is 325 notes.

But we wanted to offer you £120.

PETER: Ooh!

120 for both?!

PHIL: Well, because, you see, those two lamps either side, they were, like, well under 200.

And we were thinking, with that big one, it might be a typo?

PETER: I like your thinking... PHIL: Yeah... Cut to the chase.

Look, if you tell us what your best price is, we won't bid you.

You tell us what your very best price is.

PETER: OK. Best deal I can do on the two items would be 155.

SIMA: Done.

Perfect.

PHIL: Absolutely.

Yeah.

PETER: Yeah?

SIMA: I'll shake on that.

VO: £120 for the musical lamp... ..and £35 for the rocking horse - not bad.

SIMA: Great... VO: Come on, you two, giddy up.

PHIL: The things we do for art, eh?

Tell me about it.

VO: Reunited on the road... SIMA: I feel like I've had a good day.

Erm, I have had an amazing day.

I've had a better day.

This is BBC music versus BBC journalism, the pulsating orb of entertainment and music at the heart of the BBC experience outside of journalism.

SIMA: I adore you, but I'm going to thrash you.

But I must beat you.

You are going to be crying, my friend.

VO: OK, you two.

See you in the ring for round two tomorrow.

Nighty night.

VO: Next morning, Sima's at the wheel, and the heavens have opened.

SIMA: The weather... BOBBY: Monsoon, possibly.

When you're a reporter, you dress for all weathers.

Well, when you're a DJ, you have people holding umbrellas for you, people picking you up from the airport.

SIMA: Well, your job's a lot more glamorous than mine!

I'm going to have to rough it today, yeah?

How are you feeling about yesterday?

SIMA: Do you know what?

I think we did really well, actually.

I think we found some really interesting things.

Some very big things, Bobby.

How about you?

BOBBY: We have two very big things.

Like, I've got this vase.

I'm not going to... You'll see it when you see it, yeah?

It's pretty out there.

It's bonkers.

VO: Yesterday, a very excitable Bobby bagged two cast-iron wheels, an art deco fork set, some individual Cartier cruets, and who could forget that goat's head majolica-style vase?

What will Sima and Phil think of the haul?

SIMA: Wow.

What's all that about?!

BOBBY: Look at it.

It's...

It's obviously something unique and beautiful.

PHIL: Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

SIMA: Exactly!

ROO: (LAUGHS) Frankly, I think their eyes must be crossed.

I've seen a name there.

Are those actually Cartier?

Yes.

PHIL: So you've bought Cartier?

ROO: Sterling silver... PHIL: On our budget?!

BOBBY: Oh, I managed to knock it down quite a lot.

Somebody's left his scrap wheels over there.

ROO: Well... Did you just nick 'em off a tractor or something?

BOBBY: Yeah... You'd never catch me buying anything like that.

ROO: You wouldn't turn it into a table, would you, Phil?

VO: Sorry you didn't spot them first, then, Phil?

Ha!

Yesterday, Sima marched off with military uniform, a table lamp made from a euphonium, some silver spoons and a vintage children's rocking horse.

I feel like I'm in a kids' play park.

BOBBY: I feel like I'm at the circus.

Excuse me, this is...

This is a winner.

SIMA: ..is a winner.

PHIL: Yeah.

You will not be smiling tomorrow.

PHIL: This is a Gold Cup winner.

BOBBY: What is this... What's this?

..midget trumpet lamp thing?

SIMA: Excuse me!

ROO: I do love the lamp because I played that when I was in the brass band.

SIMA: Well...

So did I!

Well, I didn't play the horn.

I've had a big problem with wind through the years, but... PHIL: Erm... SIMA: (LAUGHS) I have to admit, I like the military jacket.

SIMA: Aw, it looks better on.

PHIL: She looks a million dollars in it.

It looks really good on.

ROO: I think we've actually all done well because we've got a good mix of things.

I think you're right.

I think you're absolutely right.

But our stuff is better.

Yeah, absolutely.

We don't need to be reeled in.

(SWEETLY) OK... SIMA: (LAUGHS) PHIL: So, one more... Off you go!

One more shop!

See you at the auction.

VO: Hold your horses, you guys.

The shopping can wait a bit.

First, we're getting on the water.

We're all familiar with canals.

Their huge expansion in the 18th century allowed Britain to become the world's pre-eminent industrial superpower.

The celebrities and their experts have popped down the road to Tooley's boat yard in Banbury, an important part of the nation's industrial heritage that was nearly lost forever.

PHIL: This is so cool.

ROO: Wow... VO: Bobby and Roo are meeting blacksmith Emilia Orving to find out how it all began.

ROO: So we are here in Tooley's boat yard.

But when was the building built?

How old is it?

Oh, all of this, together with the boat yard, was built at the same time as Oxford Canal was dug.

ROO: OK. EMILIA: So, it was all 1778.

VO: In the second half of the 18th century, canals revolutionized the world of industrial transportation.

Suddenly, just one horse could pull 50 tons of cargo, as long as it had a good set of shoes.

EMILIA: They used to shoe all of the horses that pulled the old coal barges here.

ROO: Yeah.

BOBBY: Amazing.

And I love the fact that it's a time machine.

This little building is a virtual time machine.

EMILIA: Yeah, exactly.

ROO: I'm intrigued by this massive anvil.

Yeah.

This is probably the first thing that was built in here.

The original blacksmith, he probably built this with his own hands.

VO: Back in 1778, horses were used for almost everything, from farming to transport.

That's why we still use terms like workhorse and horsepower.

So, the fire is attracting me.

The anvil...

I want to do what you do.

I want to go back to the Middle Ages.

Give me something to bang!

EMILIA: Let's go!

Come on!

Let's do this!

In the yard we have a really old boat called Harding.

Right?

And this is an original spike that has been taken out of him.

So what is that...?

EMILIA: This is what I'm going to give you.

So, you're going to make that into that.

VO: Of course, you can't build or repair a canal boat when it's in the water.

So while these two get their irons in the fire, let's catch up with Sima and Phil, who are meeting Kate Saffin, a trustee of Tooley's boat yard.

PHIL: I wonder which is the deep end.

It's like walking the plank, this!

SIMA: Ah!

Hello, Kate!

So, just tell us a bit about where we actually are - what is this and how does it work?

KATE: It's a dry dock and it's the oldest continuously working one on the whole canal system.

It doesn't look very dry at the moment because it's open, ready for a boat to come in.

A boat will come through there, be steadied with ropes, they'll then drop what are called stop planks in and then pull, my favorite bit - the plug - and that's just down there.

PHIL: Is it really a plug?

KATE: Well, it's more of a plate, actually, but it makes the most wonderful glugging sound when you pull it.

Kind of goes, gl...!

(IMITATES GLUGGING) SIMA: Gosh... KATE: It was a really simple piece of engineering.

SIMA: So, Tooley's came about because of this dry dock?

Yeah.

From the very beginning, when the canal arrived, boats needed to be built, they needed to be maintained and looked after.

And that's what this dock has always done.

And once a year, over the canal weekend...hard to imagine now, but we put a stage in just there.

And... SIMA: Gosh.

..it's all drained, cleaned, dried.

And we have theater performances in here for several days.

VO: Yes, Tooley's boat yard is still at the heart of the community.

Amazing, given that it was nearly bulldozed in the 1990s to make way for a shopping center.

Sadly, the horse stables were lost before a passionate campaign halted the machines just inches from the historic forge where Bobby and Roo are busy working.

BOBBY: There's something Neanderthal that happens to me when I get near open fire... (IN DEEP VOICE) Let's go.

EMILIA: And just hit it!

VO: The canal boat spikes that these two are making are squarish in profile and not to be confused with nails, which are smaller and round.

ROO: That's a good point, though.

It's massively bent.

I'm loving the spoon that you're making!

Can you make me a knife and fork to go with it?!

VO: OK, Roo, let's see if you can do it any better.

Right, watch yourselves.

OK. Scottish warrior.

VO: She's got the hang of it straight away.

ROO: That is... BOBBY: Oh, yeah!

Come on!

BOBBY: I can feel sweat running down my neck.

Sweat through hard work, you know?

Yeah!

VO: Well, you've only done half the job, Bob.

You work on the blunt end... We'll "head" over to join Sima and Phil, who are with Ian Staples working on our old friend Hardy.

SIMA: Ian!

IAN: Hello.

SIMA: Hello!

IAN: Hello!

SIMA: How's it going in this dreadful weather?

IAN: I've been trying to do some caulking.

SIMA: What is that used for?

It's hemp and Stockholm tar, which is the tar that comes out of wood.

You put it in between the seams of the planks and that makes them watertight.

SIMA: And this is Hardy.

Hardy was built in 1940.

He used to work on this canal, which is one of the reasons why it's down here and why it's at Tooley's.

VO: When Bobby and Roo have finished making the spikes, they'll be used to secure Hardy's new planks in place.

And then Ian can make the section watertight.

SIMA: So you're using very traditional skills here, aren't you?

Oh, absolutely.

There's no difference between what I'm doing now than what they'd have done, you know, 150, 200 years ago, really.

I mean, I feel a little bit of a privilege, really, to be using these caulking irons.

I would have a wooden boat in preference to a steel boat any day of the week.

VO: Bobby's just adding the crowning glory to his spike.

You did such a good job, guys!

BOBBY & ROO: Oh, yay!

EMILIA: Yeah!

Well done!

VO: You can't visit Tooley's without a trip in a boat.

Our famous four have joined John Madden, chairman of the Tooley's Boat Trust, aboard the Dancing Duck and at the tiller is apprentice Jacob.

Sorry about the weather.

It's... SIMA: Dreadful.

It's weather for ducks, isn't it?

JOHN: It really is.

SIMA: (LAUGHS) ROO: With all of the challenges that the boat yard has faced over 250 years, it's so nice to see it thriving and us enjoying it today.

Yeah, it is.

It's a wonderful place.

We have a great future here.

There's more people every year using the waterways, living on them, traveling on them and having holidays.

And there are so many skills involved in maintaining these boats.

VO: And those skills have been passed down to a new generation.

I think the future of Tooley's Boatyard is in good hands.

You've definitely sold it to us, John.

Absolutely.

We'll be coming back, won't we?

Absolutely.

We'll be coming back but I do have seasickness, so I'm out.

VO: From one relaxing way to travel to another.

It's a lovely car, isn't it?

It is, but I love driven in it by you.

Yes, my lady.

PHIL: (LAUGHS) How did you get into being a journalist, then?

SIMA: Well, I started writing for a newspaper after I graduated.

And then I got a researcher job at the BBC.

And while I was there, I wrote to lots of big bosses in the organization.

And one of them reached out to me and gave me a job in New York.

PHIL: New York?

SIMA: New York.

VO: So good they named it twice.

And while I was there, I just kind of got one opportunity after another and became a reporter.

A bit like me, really, cuz I started off working in Worcester and then I moved to Malvern.

I mean, it's probably seven, eight miles away.

VO: There's nothing local, or yokel, about you, Phil.

For their final shop, Sima and Phil are on their way to historic Brackley.

The town was known for wool and lace making, and with £180 still in the kitty, there'll be no need to buy anything for bobbins.

PHIL: Well, here we go.

SIMA: In here?

Yeah, I've been here before.

Have you?

Great.

PHIL: Go on.

SIMA: Thank you.

VO: Brackley Antique Cellar isn't damp and doesn't have any spiders, but it is home to wares from 200 dealers arranged over a whopping 30,000 square feet.

Wow.

It's been a really hectic couple of days.

I've had a ball with Phil.

He's been absolutely brilliant and he really knows his stuff.

Fingers crossed we find something chunky, maybe jewelry type in here, something I've been gunning for all the way through.

But we just haven't come across that thing just yet.

SIMA: There's so much stuff.

PHIL: Everywhere.

Sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees.

SIMA: No.

Look at the green.

I'm loving the green... SIMA: Gorgeous.

PHIL: I'm loving that.

SIMA: What?

PHIL: This.

SIMA: What is it?

Is it a coaster?

PHIL: No.

SIMA: No, too big for a coaster.

So it's a death penny.

Or a death plaque.

A death penny?

Yeah.

So these were issued in the First World War to people who lost their lives.

SIMA: Wow.

PHIL: And it's full of symbolism, cuz you've got the German eagle there and he's being overcome by the British lion.

And just there you've got the monogram "ECP" and that's Edward Carter Preston.

And he's the man who designed this and he won a competition to design it.

And around the outside, it's got, "He died for freedom and honor."

Wow.

OK?

So it's really poignant stuff.

Incredible, yeah.

But after they made these, they then realized that actually there were ladies who died as well in the First World War.

So they stuck a little S just in there.

And it became, "She died."

SIMA: Wow... PHIL: OK?

And these ones are worth between probably 50 and 80, 60 and £90.

Mm-hm.

And the female ones are worth closer to £1,000.

SIMA: Gosh.

PHIL: You're kind of holding someone's life here, cuz this is this man, Alexander Frew.

SIMA: Mm-hm.

And he's the guy that died, and his family would have had this.

Wow.

And a letter saying...kind of commemorating all of this.

So you're holding his life.

It's incredible, really poignant stuff.

Yeah.

So that's a boy...

I'd say it's a boy, he might have died at Passchendaele or the Somme.

SIMA: Precious.

PHIL: You can find all that out.

See if we can track down his name.

Yeah, you would be able to.

So it's kind of... SIMA: Aw!

PHIL: It's stuff, isn't it?

SIMA: Yeah... PHIL: You know?

We've already got a bit of militaria.

How much is this?

Well...

This is £80.

PHIL: So we can get a bit of a discount.

So here's the options for you.

If you buy that, we won't have spent 400, which is our budget.

SIMA: You know I have a soft spot when it comes to the military and everything they do for their country... And the name of the soldier is here and you feel like it tells a story.

But, yeah, OK, well, why don't you show me what else you've seen and we'll go from there.

OK. Leave that there, let's go and have a look.

Right.

VO: Let's join Roo and Bobby now in the town of Bicester, which also has a wartime connection, but to the English Civil War of the 1640s.

It served as the headquarters of parliamentary forces.

ROO: Nearly done, mister.

VO: Robinson's Antiques is owned by Ian, who's been in the business since the tender age of 14.

Will our duo find what they're looking for?

They can draw their own conclusions...

There's £90 in the kitty.

ROO: Bobby?

BOBBY: Yeah.

I found a thing of beauty.

(BIRD CHIRPS) Wow... (BIRD CHIRPS) BOBBY: An early version of a robot!

VO: You're not wrong, Bobby, but the word robot was first used in 1920, so before that these were called automatons.

That's crazy.

How old is that?!

ROO: A lot of them are French, but they'd often be around from the sort of Victorian era.

It sounds so realistic.

Well, inside there's miniature bellows, so that's where the sound is coming from.

VO: Unfortunately, this little bird comes with a big bill - he-he!

£545.

BOBBY: I want to hear it again.

ROO: Ready?

It's addictive.

(BIRD CHIRPS) Look at its little face.

VO: Aw, Bobby's birdie has him smitten.

Back in Brackley, Sima and Phil are still down in the cellar, but there's nothing dark or dingy about what Phil has in mind.

PHIL: Come and have a look at this.

SIMA: Oh, I do like that!

What is it?

Is it a brooch?

It's a brooch designed by a man called Henning Koppel.

VO: If you're not familiar with Henning Koppel's work, he designed for the renowned mid-century silversmith Georg Jensen.

Koppel started work designing for him, I think in the '40s.

This is probably 1960s, but I think that's just really, really contemporary, all marked up on the back, but just... SIMA: Oh... PHIL: ..feel the weight.

SIMA: And you can see, look, I like silver.

PHIL: Yeah.

SIMA: Oh, wow...

It's kind of like Star Trek, isn't it?

SIMA: It is!

But it's also pretty.

PHIL: Well, I like it.

VO: Beam me up, Scotty!

How much is it?

PHIL: Oh, look, it's £245.

SIMA: £245?!

That's more than we have.

Which we haven't got so... No.

We're going to have to haggle, aren't we?

Yeah, well, I think it's the time to be honest and say, "Look, if you want it, it's £180."

"That's all we've got.

Will they take it?"

So it's either this... Or that death plaque.

So it's the heart or head.

SIMA: I know... PHIL: I think at auction, and if you have a good day, it might make around 200, 220.

SIMA: Well, look, you're the expert, and I like it, I like the way it looks.

We already have some military memorabilia, so... PHIL: Come on, then.

VO: Denise is ready and waiting.

Set phasers to stun.

SIMA: Hello.

How are you?

DENISE: Good.

SIMA: We've fallen in love with this Georg Jensen brooch.

It's gorgeous.

But I only have £180 on me.

PHIL: We haven't got another penny.

I mean, it's... SIMA: ..all we've got.

PHIL: 180 squid.

Right.

OK. Deal.

SIMA: Deal?!

DENISE: Yeah.

You sure?

That's really kind.

SIMA: Ah!

Fantastic!

PHIL: And well done you.

PHIL: Boom!

SIMA: Yay!

Boom.

VO: That's the shopping all wrapped up for Sima and Phil, and they've cleaned out the kitty.

SIMA: Yay!

PHIL: Home and hosed.

Yeah.

Good teamwork, Phil!

PHIL: Absolutely.

I'm pleased with that.

VO: 11 miles down the road in Bicester... Hello, hello, hello!

What's going on in here, then?

ROO: (CHUCKLES) Are you the Bobby on the beat?

BOBBY: You know what?

ROO: (LAUGHS) I am a Bobby.

Now, then.

Now, then...

I don't know if I'm right about this.

Right.

Look, there's a flag of St George on that one.

A flag of St George on that one and all three... Oh, my God, all three have got royal crests.

And this says, "1839."

Absolutely.

So the VR, they've got the crown there, the reign of Queen Victoria.

But these are gorgeous police truncheons, and I have seen them before and sold a couple but often they tend to be quite plain, not painted.

VO: In 1829, Sir Robert Peel created the modern police force as we know it, which is why police officers are sometimes called bobbies.

Up until that point, 1829, policemen were basically unpaid parish constables.

OK.

So there wasn't really an official police force.

Yeah.

It was just unpaid volunteers looking out over the streets and keeping everything in order.

The one that's actually 1838, that's only nine years after the police force started.

BOBBY: Wow, history... ROO: Hand painted.

And the wood that was used was lignum vitae, which is this dark wood.

Sometimes in a shop you find one, but to have three is making me really quite excited because it's the social history behind it as well.

BOBBY: I love these.

ROO: I love them, too.

Yeah?

ROO: And, of course, you are the Bobby...

I'm the Bobby on the beat.

VO: You two need to see the officer on duty.

Hi, Bobby.

Hello.

They're absolutely brilliant.

Beautiful.

They've called out to us.

Definitely.

Lots of history there.

ROO: I mean, there was no price on these.

Bobby, what do you think for three of them?

BOBBY: So I'm thinking all three for...£50?

I can't quite do £50.

Um...

I'll do £70 for you for the three.

Let's meet in the middle.

60.

65.

OK, you know what?

You know what?

We can do that.

VO: So the truncheons are taken into custody, leaving 25 nicker unspent, ha!

IAN: Thank you very much.

ROO: Thank you...

Pleasure doing business with you.

And we're done...!

VO: Time for two old mates to catch up.

I'm excited to see how much money I'm going to make on this because I'm feeling positive.

BOBBY: I'm just excited about being in an auction hall.

You know, the whole... (IMITATES RAPID FIRE BID CALLING) Bang!

You know, the hammer, all of that kind of stuff.

Yeah.

And may the best of Bobby or Sima win.

Absolutely.

I love how you put Bobby there before you put Sima.

Look, I'm really trying to be nice now.

Is that alphabetical?

VO: And with that...

I think it's time for some shuteye.

VO: It's auction day!

After rummaging around Northamptonshire and Oxfordshire, picking up quite the treasure trove, our friendly foes have headed for Staffordshire, where our celebs will do battle, and our home for this titanic tussle in Penkridge is Cuttlestones Auctioneers and Valuers... ..selling in the room, on the net and on the phone.

Wielding the gavel today is Dave Eglington.

Selling for 85.

Thanking you.

I'm looking forward to today and I think we bought really good things.

ROO: Ah, here they are...!

PHIL: Hi, hi, hi.

SIMA: How are you, darling?

ROO: Good to see you, mister!

SIMA: Good to see you too.

PHIL: Right... SIMA: Hello!

ROO: Hello!

A handshake at least.

PHIL: In we go, matey.

Come on!

Off to the battle.

ROO: Are we going straight in?

Let the battle commence!

VO: Sima parted with all of her £400 for five lots.

Has anything caught Dave's eye?

DAVE: My favorite lot of the sale, this is.

I've always liked Georg Jensen.

I've been an avid collector myself.

I reckon this is going to go, what, 150?

Maybe even squeak to 200.

But I'm putting myself on the line there.

VO: Bobby splashed £375 on his five items.

What do you like the look of, Dave?

DAVE: Really like the truncheons.

They're really collectable, and may be topping £100-plus.

PHIL: That's a name, isn't it?

Cartier.

VO: Sima and Phil want a closer look at their rivals' Cartier cruets.

SIMA: Are you worried?

PHIL: Yeah, I am.

SIMA: Oh, no, Phil!

PHIL: Yeah.

SIMA: I hear what you're saying... PHIL: I wonder if there's any way we can just cut that label out of the... PHIL: (WHISPERS) Quick, quick... SIMA: Alright.

Well, this is... (GASPS) Oh...I like that.

This must be their brooch... Oh, my God, I'd actually buy this.

It's life, Jim, but not as we know it...!

Engage!

Do you know what, that is a beautiful piece of Georg Jensen silver jewelry.

And I like it.

And it suits you.

And I like it as well.

Shall we put it our pocket?

Put it down!

(LAUGHS) VO: Two dazzling lots.

But which one will have a silver lining?

Take your seats, please, folks.

ROO: We're up, Bobby.

Now, this is a very Phil lot.

I don't know what possessed us to buy two huge cast iron wheels.

They're cool, though, aren't they?

Yeah, they're cool, they're cool.

And Phil has single-handedly made these... What on earth would you do...

I didn't want to say it, but Phil's just going to go right in there and say it.

What on earth would you do with two rusty old farm wheels?

Well, this is where I've been inspired... PHIL: Who'd buy those?!

No, but, Phil, Phil, apparently, you're the king of taking rusty old stuff like that... BOBBY: ..and turning it around.

SIMA: But he didn't buy them!

VO: First under the hammer are Bobby's iron wheels.

We're starting in online at... £25 is bid.

At 25, at 25, any advance at £25?

£28.

Now 30.

At 30, at 30.

It's selling at 30.

32, 35.

At £35.

38 in the room.

At £38 now... At 38, at 38 and 40.

That's only 20 quid each.

Five.

50.

Jumping up by five.

DAVE: Five.

At £55 now.

At 55.

It's in the room at... PHIL: Get the hammer down!

SIMA: Down, down!

ROO: Come on, internet!

SIMA: No!

Looks like we may be all done and selling.

55... (GAVEL) ROO: Oh...!

SIMA: Ah!

VO: The wheels fell off that one.

That's a shame.

Sorry about that, Bobs.

No, that's fine.

Let's see what happens once that horse of yours gets involved.

Eh?

VO: Quite right, Bobby.

Trot on!

BOBBY: Is it a horse... SIMA: Yes, Bobby... BOBBY: ..or is it a donkey?

SIMA: ..it's a horse.

It's a rocking horse.

We gave it a name.

Roger.

ROO: Actually, I'll be honest, I think it's quite cool.

BOBBY: Yeah?

ROO: How much was it?

£35?

SIMA: 35 quid.

BOBBY: That is a good price.

ROO: I don't think you can lose money.

PHIL: Stick around.

BOBBY & ROO: (LAUGHS) Fingers firmly crossed, legs crossed.

Everything's crossed.

Coming up next...

Lot 80 - here comes Dobbin, and he's out of the traps at £22 is bid.

At 22, at 22, any advance at £22 now?

At 22.

At 22.

Oh, quiet.

At £22.

Are we all done?

Think about it.

Maiden bid at £22.

Oh, no... VO: Bad luck.

Although not everyone has a long face.

PHIL & SIMA: (SCOFF) Yeah, alright.

Less of the high-fiving here.

Thank you.

VO: Let's see if anyone forks out for Bobby's art deco cutlery.

Er... Bid straight in at... £30 is bid.

Excellent.

DAVE: At 30, at 30.

Any advance at £30?

32.

At £32 now.

It's in the room at £32.

Come on, internet.

Don't lose them.

DAVE: Couple of quid more?

38.

At 38, at 38.

Any advance at £38?

Couple of quid more, if you like, online, yes or no.

It's in the room at £38.

All done and selling.

Last chance at £38... (GAVEL) Fantastic.

Well done, guys.

BOBBY: I know.

VO: We're out of the gate with the first profit.

If you ever want any rules on how to make a profit, just speak to us.

ROO: Bobby, you're going to jinx us!

PHIL: Ignore him.

SIMA: I am ignoring him.

VO: We're sticking with cutlery.

Sima's spoons are next.

I love these...

I covet this lot.

I think it's really nice.

The columns on them, Corinthian columns, they are so classy and elegant.

They were cool, weren't they?

ROO: I'm slightly jealous of this lot, Bobby.

Like you were the army uniform.

Starting at £10 is bid.

At 10.

12, 15, 18, 20, two, five.

At £25 now.

28.

30.

At £30 now and two.

At 32, 32, 35.

At £35 now.

35, at 35.

Any more?

£38 and 40.

At £40 now.

DAVE: It's... SIMA: No!

..on the saleroom at 40.

At 40, at 40, any more?

Up!

Up!

DAVE: All done and selling at 40... (GAVEL) VO: Well, didn't create the stir we'd expected.

I genuinely don't know what happened there!

I do.

We lost money.

VO: Only after commission, Phil.

Now, Bobby's truncheons.

At £75 is bid.

SIMA: No way!

DAVE: At 75 and 80.

At 80, at 80, any advance at £80 now?

They're worth more.

At £85 now.

90.

At 90, 90, £95 now.

Top it up.

100.

At 100, at 100, 110.

At 110, at 110.

Any advance at 110?

At 110.

Are we all done?

Looks like we may be.

ROO: We'll take a one five... DAVE: Selling for 110... (GAVEL) 110.

VO: All hail the triumphant truncheons.

Do you know what?

Winning isn't everything.

It's taking part.

And we have proved that.

Yeah!

VO: Here's hoping for a happier tune.

It's Sima's horn lamp.

So how much was this?

SIMA: 120.

BOBBY: (GAGS) Oh!

Oh, come on!

Bobby, you're better than that.

Right, so we are in on lot 90 on the table lamp, and at £80 now... Shush!

Here we go, guys.

DAVE: At 20, at 20, back of the room at 22.

25.

At £25 now.

£28.

30.

32, 35, eight.

At £38 now.

Couple of quid more for 40, if you like.

Up, up, up!

DAVE: At £38.

Are we all done?

SIMA: No!

DAVE: Looks like we may be.

All done.

Last chance at £38... No!

(GAVEL) Well, that's done really well... SIMA: Oh, my word!

VO: Barely made a brass farthing.

Ha!

Bad luck.

I will give you this.

We do buy stuff with our heart sometimes.

BOBBY: I did that.

SIMA: Yeah.

BOBBY: And that was obviously bought with the heart, not with the head.

SIMA: Aww... You actually can be quite nice.

ROO: You had to put that in at the end, didn't you, Bobby?

I just felt the knife slipping under the ribs there.

VO: Careful, Bobby, it's your goat head vase next.

We were drawn to it.

It cast a spell on us.

Yeah.

And, actually, you two will agree with me, seeing Bobby in his devilish...

He's cast a spell on me.

Well, Bobby in his devilishly red chair... Kind of satanic almost, isn't it?

Yeah.

And his really well-groomed beard.

You can see the flames behind him.

I'm stunned...

I love it when you turn up to work and your mates go, "You look like Satan."

I mean, it's great.

I've never seen anything quite like it, to be fair.

We are straight in at a massive £8 is bid.

At eight, at eight, at eight.

At £8.

10.

See, he's got good taste, doesn't he?

At 10, 12.

We said that when he came in.

At 12, at 12.

Any advance?

No?

No?

Go on.

You could admire it all day long.

DAVE: £15.

He's in at 15.

ROO: 15, come on.

DAVE: At 15, at 15.

PHIL: He needs help.

It is a talking point, that's right.

SIMA: 70?

DAVE: At 15.

Looks like we're all done and I shall sell for £15... ROO: Oh!

SIMA: One thing... SIMA: ..you got right today, Phil.

Well done.

Yeah...

Unfortunately, not for us.

SIMA: (LAUGHS) No!

VO: It was a devil of a thing.

But someone got a bargain.

Now, let's see if Sima's army uniform will earn its stripes.

ROO: I love this.

SIMA: Yeah.

And I saw you wear it, and I think... She looked a million dollars... ROO: I think it's gorgeous.

SIMA: Aww, I loved it.

BOBBY: Only £25?

SIMA: Er, yes.

OK. OK. Alright.

We're straight in at £10 is bid.

Bobby, you can be quiet now.

DAVE: At £10, at £10.

Any advance at £10?

12, 15, 18, 20.

BOBBY: Oh.

DAVE: At £20 now.

DAVE: At 20, at 20, any advance at £20?

At 20, at 20.

Are we all done?

SIMA: No...!

DAVE: Looks like we may be.

All done at 22.

22, come on, another three quid.

25.

Back in the room at £25 now.

At 25, at 25, any more?

At £25.

All done, then.

Last chance and selling for 25.

(GAVEL) VO: Didn't make money.

Didn't lose money.

Pretty uniform, really.

Ha!

Guys, I'm sorry.

I thought it was beautiful.

BOBBY: Yeah.

VO: Bobby's last item... the little shakers with the big name.

Lot 150. Who doesn't want to sell Cartier?

ROO: Oh!

DAVE: 160.

SIMA: No way... Shall we go?

DAVE: Bidding over in Ireland.

At £160.

ROO: Thank you, Ireland!

DAVE: 170.

At 170, at 170.

At 170.

180.

Fair play, you've done really well.

SIMA: You have.

ROO: Thank you.

At 180, at 180.

190.

Might as well top it up.

200, you're in, at 200, at 200.

One more might take it.

DAVE: 210.

At 210.

SIMA: No way!

Straight back in at 220.

PHIL: Well done.

DAVE: At £220 now.

Don't give up now.

At 220, at 220.

230.

Thank you.

That's the way.

At 230, at 230.

Any more?

Don't let him beat you, saleroom.

At 230, at £230.

Any more?

Last chance.

Are we all done?

Looks like we may be.

All done.

And selling.

240.

At 240.

Thank you, online.

It's always worth waiting a beat.

DAVE: At £240... SIMA: I'm seeing pound signs.

DAVE: At £250 is bid.

At 250, at 250.

Any more?

SIMA: You've done so well.

DAVE: Last chance.

All done.

And selling.

250... (GAVEL) SIMA: That's brilliant.

That is really good.

SIMA: Fantastic.

ROO: Thank you.

VO: Well played, Bobby and Roo.

I'm happy.

Shabash.

I'm deliriously happy.

Oh, I'm absolutely over the moon.

SIMA: (SCOFFS) VO: Last chance for Sima.

She's pinning her hopes on the Georg Jensen brooch.

OK, this is my favorite one.

And I'm a massive Trekkie.

PHIL: Really?

SIMA: Yeah!

Live long and let's hope we prosper.

I'm feeling positive.

And we're starting straight in online at £85.

£85 straight away!

DAVE: Any advance at 85?

90.

SIMA: Fantastic.

DAVE: We're up to £110 now.

DAVE: 120.

SIMA: Brilliant.

DAVE: At 120.

It's in the room at 120, you're out online.

At 120, at 120.

Any advance at £120?

130.

Sure?

We all done?

It's online now, £130.

He's thinking about it.

130.

Be quick.

Selling for 130, then... (GAVEL) SIMA: No...!

BOBBY: Beam them up, Scotty.

What has happened?!

VO: They reached for the stars but came tumbling back to Earth.

Can you both stop smiling?!

I'm not.

That was worth.... That was worth £200.

BOBBY: Yeah.

SIMA: Totally crushed there.

Let's go.

Yeah, let's leave them to it.

Let them gloat.

VO: Time for the scores on the doors.

Sima and Phil started with £400, and after auction costs are deducted, they've made a loss, leaving only £209.10.

Bobby and Roo also had £400 and actually sold their items for more than they paid - ha!

After auction costs are deducted, they have made a profit of £8.76.

So they are today's winners.

ROO & SIMA: Aww!

D'you know what?

I love you guys.

Me and Phil are going to miss you, aren't we, Phil?

PHIL: Absolutely.

ROO: Go on, you two.

SIMA: Take care, my love.

Thank you so much.

Lovely to work with you.

PHIL: Yes.

ROO: Last high five?

High five...

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Go forth and prosper.

Do you know what?

I think we did really well, actually.

I kind of feel like I could do the antiques game... (LAUGHS) Do you know, I think we're in the wrong business, you and me.

BOBBY: Roo said, "If you had an antique shop, "you could call it Bits And Bobs."

VO: Bits And Bobs could be appearing on a high street near you.

Until next time.

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